Cruise blogs...

While I was away on my cruise, I didn't have access to the Internet (yes, I suffered intense withdrawal), so I actually hand-wrote my thoughts on a semi-daily basis. What follows are the various "blogs" I wrote. Hope you enjoy!!

#1. Airports. July 2, 2009

Airports are fascinating places. Ostensibly they're used to gather people together before allowing them to board aluminum tubes powered by highly combustible fuel and travel great distances in short amounts of time.

Airports are places of hellos and goodbyes; hugs and tears; joyful meetings and sorrowful partings. They're also places of business. Airports are amazing studies in consumerism. They play on impulse spending and guilt. "I didn't get Aunt Charlene something and maybe if I buy her a magnet with I heart NY on it, she'll know I was thinking of her."

Yeah, she'll know you were thinking of her-you were thinking "Oh crap! I f I don't get Aunt Charlene something from my trip, she'll never forgive me." How many times have you (like me) seen things at an airport gift shop you don't normally see in your daily wanderings and go "Oh my God, that's so cute; I have to have it!!"?

Then there's the food.
Odds are you'll probably arrive at least an hour to two before flight time ("to get through security" you tell yourself) and invariably become hungry. Is it real hunger or temptation brought on by the sight and semll of foods you normally wouldn't touch with a twelve foot pole? And why is it that aiport snacks are usually of the incredibly high in sodium or sugar variety? Did I really need to get a pound of rice cracker mix (those Japanese yummies) before my 6 hour flight to Madrid? No, but man they looked SOOOO good sitting there in that case... And I was hungry after that nasty salad that didn't have any protein in it.

In addition, airports are excellent examples of the axiom "hurry up and wait." Get to the airport three hours ahead of time. Get on line, get your boarding pass, check your bag(s), go through security. Did that only take twenty minutes? What? Great. Now I'm stranded in the airport waiting area with no computer and evil shops and cafes. For me, this is when the anxiety really starts. How long before the flight leaves? Do I have enough time to get some food? What food should I eat? Should I get another book for the plane? Oh those candy bars look good...

Then it's on to Europe. Now, we went through security at JFK, landed in Madrid and did not go anywhere else, except maybe the bathroom. While trying to find the gate for our connecting flight, there was no time for shopping or anything like that. So, we're in the airport in Madrid and have to go through passport control. Fine. I get that- you're entering a country, they want to have a record you came through. Lovely. Did I really need to go through another security checkpoint? I haven't veered from the laybrinthine path to gates "HJK" since leaving the plane. But oh no... through the X-ray and metal detectors we went. Your bottle of liquids is .05 mL over the limit- into the garbage with you.

Security... Okay, I get that there are terrorists in the world. I get that they like to bomb European airports (oh but hmm... who does all the hunt ing for terrorists? EU? Nope.)... but really, do we still need to do this stupidity with the 3 oz of liquids? The terrorists have moved on folks. And shoes... European security checkpoints don't make us take off shoes any more. Oh TSA, could you check into that please?

What I loved best about the security in Europe was upon arrival in Venice, there were two Italian men standing at the top of an escalator saying "Passaporta". They could've been anyone. No booths, no official signs or anything... Just "passaporta". Mmm, way to make me feel secure guys.