Happy St. Patrick's Day!

And a lovely one it is!! I've been playing some nice Irish (or Sssseltic as my colleague says) music all morning. Of course my little darlings don't appreciate it, but I've been enjoying it. It's so weird being in a school that doesn't do anything for St. Patrick's Day. But, I guess with the population here, we're lucky they know that the day *is* St. Patrick's Day. I miss the silly hats and the "wearing o' the green" all over the place. It just goes to show how important building unity and fraternity among a faculty is. We're all separated and compartmentalized into our classrooms... No faculty lounge (although maybe the room designated as such will be available by June) no social committee... Kinda sad. Was it Lee Iacocca who wrote How to Win Friends and Influence People or the Donald? Regardless, this school seems to practice "How to alienate people and start wars." A sad commentary on things.

But, on a positive note, I'm wearing a sweatshirt I bought in Ireland in August of 1999... And it fits!!! WoOHoO! Erin go bragh!! :)

Spring is here...

I miss Regina's annual spring announcement: "Spring is here/the grass is riz/I wonder where the birdies is?"

However, I am thankful that spring has finally arrived. This princess has been hiding in her tower being S.A.D., but I'm doing much better now. I'm losing weight at a slow and steady rate, which is definitely helping my mood. I'm also eating better foods which is another contributor to the mood improvement.

I guess we're all suffering from "in these tough economic times," but I'm accentuating the positive. I've got friends who care about me; parents/other relatives who love me; a job and benefits. I'm working on "getting out there," trying to go to positive lectures/sessions- just an overall improvement in myself.

Still having some issues with the kids, but things are slowly getting better.

This is fun Miss!

Words I never thought I'd hear a student from this school say... after all of the grief they've been giving me: the book fights, the paper balls, not doing homework, being openly defiant and disrespectful.... I never thought I'd hear one of the most formerly obnoxious kids say that he was actually enjoying doing something in my class. I almost fell over... the special ed teacher was in the room at the time so I was able to get confirmation that my ears hadn't deceived me.... Wow... of course, when I asked him to repeat it he just started laughing... but what a moment. Almost makes the agony of my pratically-permanently tense shoulders worthwhile. :) And he was so in to the topic... started educating other students about proper etiquette for interviews... it was great. I couldn't believe it. Teaching... when you get those days... those moments... they're amazing.

LKH

LKH's new book is almost here!!!

http://www.randomhouse.com/features/lkhamilton/widget/index.html?ref=news&name=lkhamilton1008

Summer has come and gone...

Even though the heat will hit a sweltering 85-90 today (where was this during our last weeks of August, one might ask) I will remain calm, cool and collected. Why? Because I have a job. Is it the best job in the world? No. Is there such a thing? "Work" is a four-lettered word like all the words I've been shouting at the crazy New York drivers who won't let me get home at the end of the day.

One of the most interesting things about my new job (besides the fact that the school is in the Stone Age) is the commute. I live 9 miles from my job. 9 miles. That's it. Do you know how long it takes me to get home every day? Anywhere from 1 to 2 hours with an average of 1.5 hrs. After dealing with pre-pubescent and newly pubescent 7th and 8th graders, the other drivers are lucky that I keep my windows up.

So, back to the Stone Age-ness of the school... The former principal left about a week or so before school started so the new principal had been on the job for 2 days when I was hired. Yep. 2 days. So, there seemed to be nothing prepared for opening day. Remembering all the complaining we did at VHS over the paperwork, I almost weep. I'd love to have a checklist. The problem with NYC schools is that the right hand doesn't know what it's own pinky is doing, much less what the left hand has got planned. Using bubble sheets for attendance. BUBBLE SHEETS. Is there a more INEFFICIENT use of a teacher's time than BUBBLE SHEETS? It's like a freaking SAT exam every period. And for those of us with hyper-active sweat glands... well, you get the picture.

So, I am thankful I have a job. I am wistful for VHS, especially the sisters-of-my-heart. And I sing in my head the great Cathedrals' classic, "If I can just hold on till tomorrow/If I can just hold on till tomorrow/If I can just hold on till tomorrow/I know the Lord's gonna bring a better day."

Beginnings...

So I've been focused very much on endings for the past few weeks, with good reason. I've been a bit depressed/down in the dumps and allowed myself to get lost in the doldrums. But hey, summer is here! I'm alive! To quote Sixx A.M. "Life is beautiful"! I've got a renewed sense of self-- I've been working on cleaning up my spaces from getting my laundry done to sorting through papers- dumping the not essential pieces of my life. Do I really need 65 copies of worksheet packets? I think not, my friends! Do I really need all those stupid window envelopes that the bills came in? Nope! So I spent the past week/weekend sorting through a lot of stuff at home and in my classroom. There's still a long way to go, but I feel better about where I've gotten to so far.

It's really not easy sorting through your life and deciding what to keep and what to toss. My brother Jimmy would say "Toss it all," but I can't do that. I'm an English teacher. We hold on to everything because we never know "when we might need it." Might. Why do I get hung up on that? Do I need it now? No. Do I need it tomorrow? No. Do I need it next week? Nope. So, out it goes! I guess what I need to get a handle on is that I can re-create most of the stuff I've done in the past four years. Besides, I always re-do everything anyway. My teaching is like my mom's cooking: never the same way twice.

So, this is a time for renewal- a time for focusing on me: what do I want? What do I need? How can I make myself a better, stronger, more confident person?

It's rough...

Packing up four years worth of stuff when i don't know what the future holds for me. However, I was actually inspired by Oprah's mission statement for today:
"Happiness lives in the spirit, not on the surface. Stop defining yourself by what you see--or think you see--when you look in the mirror."

I've been defining myself by what I see in the mirror and boy has it been depressing. So, I'm going to take my sparkly Mickey watch (courtesy of Uncle Tony an Aunt Lainie) and have a good time for myself. Who knows what the future holds? I don't. I leave it all in God's hands.

Nice thing happened today- when I told my "I" period students I wouldn't be back next year they said "We love you Hurls" and applauded for me. One of them started crying- albeit for the club that I have to abandon- but that touched me a lot. I almost started crying too. sighs

"Whenever God closes one door... Somewhere He opens a window..." I'm just hoping the window is looking out some place special. I'd just like some security. But again... "not my will, but Thine be done."